Valentine's Day is around the corner. The Winter-Holiday-Season-Dating Limbo is over and you're ready to get back into the game. Why don't you try a geek on for size? We've got some (highly appealing?) qualities that put us a cut above the rest:
Geeks know what true love is
We agonized with Peter Parker over the death of Gwen Stacy. We rejoiced with Scott Summers when Jean Grey returned from the dead. We attended Riker and Troi's wedding after decades of being off-again-on-again. This is what we've learned about love: love is epic, love is patient, love is worth fighting for and love will always triumph. We may not always be able to fight for ourselves, but we will always fight for the ones we love most.
You always know how to get a hold of us
When Captain Picard was on the Bridge and wanted to talk to Dr. Crusher in sickbay, he did so just by tapping his chest. All the X-Men had (kick-ass) X-Shaped communicators with tracking devices and we all wanted one. From a very early age, geeks have been indoctrinated with the concepts of constant connection and instant availability. We're constantly on Facebook, IM, G-Chat, Twitter and any other means necessary to communicate with us. Unless we're sleeping, in a meeting, in the bathroom or with you, we're always looking at our computer or phone. We always look forward to hearing from this season's love interest. And if we don't respond right away, don't worry: we're very excited to get right back to you.
Geeks can always fix your computer...
...even if we've never studied/worked in the computer sciences. For some reason (don't ask me how), we've been blessed with THATmuch more knowledge about your computer than you. Maybe it was the years spent gaming, fascinated by Cerebro, or soothed by Majel Barrett's calm yet authoritative voice. For SOME reason, we can just fiddle about with it and fix it for you. So before you spend a bunch of money taking it to Best Buy, give it to your geek crush first. Just make sure to hide your porn first. Awkward.
Geeks always remember your birthday
If we can remember that Counselor Troi experienced a space version of immaculate conception on Stardate 42073.1, that the musical episode of BUFFY was season 6-episode 7, or that Rictor and Shatterstar shared the first gay kiss in Marvel history in X-Factor volume 3, issue 45... I think we can remember your birthday. Or Valentine's Day, anniversary, first time we had sushi or any other date important to you. And we are more than happy to celebrate it too.
Geeks will protect you in the event of an Apocalypse...
... whether it be brought on by zombies, alien invasion or the Mayans. Yeah, those muscley A&F wearing jocks may look butch, but the moment one of the aforementioned creepy crawlers approaches, they're pooping their cargo shorts and leaving you high and dry. And the pretty boys in Prada? If there were gay horror movie standards, they'd totally be the first to go. So who does that leave you with? Us geeks, who will protect you by putting the hours of playing RESIDENT EVIL or reading/watching THE WALKING DEAD to practical use. While all your other love interests are running for the hills, we're looking for shovels or other makeshift weapons to protect you and planning a way to live off the land ala Rick Grimes. And when the population of the world is decimated by the Apocalypse and it's just us, we can repopulate the world. Well, if that were biologically possible for gay people. But we'd certainly have A LOT of fun trying.
Danny Bernardo is GoPride's official Geekologist (where this article first appeared last week) and the Chicago Events Coordinator for Geeks OUT. He is in the minority that thinks Mary Jane was actually a pretty good match for Peter Parker and that Buffy was better off with Riley. But his favorite comic book couple will always be Wiccan and Hulkling. His other role models for love are his parents, who were married for 54 years. Wanna share the geek love? Shoot him a tweet using hashtag #GeekOnDB