A Bloody Mouthful: The Walking Dead Season 5, Episode 7 | "Crossed"

Hi friends! Big ups to amberhardfemme for stepping in for me the last two weeks. Check out her recap for some excellent exposition on Carol’s character.

We open up this episode with Sasha angrily chopping up pews. Tyreese is dismantling the organ to create some impressive spikes outside while Daryl plants the seed of concern for Sasha’s well-being post-Bob. The group is busy fortifying the church – it looks like they will be here for a while. Needless to say, Gabriel is not happy. As Michonne and Carl nail part of a pew to seal the church doors, Gabriel loses it trying to scrape blood off of the floor with his fingernails. His church has finally met the apocalypse.

Meanwhile, with Abraham’s camp, Tara comes up with GREATM, an acronym of their names, and promises to own it permanently with a knuckle tattoo. Do it, Tara! Abraham is still kneeling in the middle of the road completely nonresponsive and Eugene is still passed out from the beating he got from Abraham in Episode 5. Rosita, worried and frustrated with Abraham, brings him water and tells him to drink it. He slaps it out of her hands and stands over her aggressively & threateningly as she shrinks back in horror. This isn’t a good look for Abraham, AT ALL. Maggie, being the badass that she is, immediately steps in with a gun forcing Abraham back to the ground. Episode 5 hints at this power play between Rosita and Abraham when Rosita verbally challenges Abraham in front of the group and then backs down even with Maggie’s support. So much for thinking you are an equal, Rosita.

Cue Rescue Mission: Carol and Beth featuring Sasha, Tyreese, Rick, Noah, & Daryl! They stand around trying to decide on a total ambush (Rick’s plan) or kidnapping two folks from the hospital to trade for Carol and Beth (Tyreese’s plan). Obviously, the use of force would almost certainly mean casualties but it would also probably mean quicker results. Nevertheless, with the group questioning Rick’s “brutality” more and more, they go with Tyreese’s plan. Thanks Daryl.

At the church, Carl offers to train Gabriel on how to survive as he continues to scrub at the floor. Gabriel ends up choosing a weapon, a machete, but apparently the trauma of choosing a weapon to begin with was grounds for a nap. He retreats while Michonne looks on with concern. She reaches out to him later, trying to lend support but Gabriel isn’t hearing it. As soon as his door is closed, we see that he is using the machete to pry open the floor boards. I don’t know how Michonne and Carl don’t hear this from the rest of the church but they don’t. *shrugsies* Gabriel escapes while smartly leaving behind the machete and anything else for survival. Like I don’t know, food, water, clothes, etc. GOOD JOB. The writers, seemingly anticipating our collective eyeroll, indulge us by having Gabriel immediately step on a nail and hobble off into the trees. He meets up with a walker friend and does a funny little dance with her before accidentally impaling her. He notices that she’s wearing a cross so he unfortunately stops short of pulverizing her head with a giant rock. It’s only a matter of time, friends. Kill or be killed, amirite?

A force to be reckoned with

At the hospital, Dawn and a cop talk about finding Noah. The cop mentions Carol taking up too many resources. Beth, overhearing, steps up and tells him off. Dawn, to regain control, tells the cop to take Carol off of life-support. The cop leaves. Dawn again brings up how fragile their system is. She ends up giving Beth the key to the drug locker (proving how fragile the system is?) in order to prolong Carol’s life without the cops knowing. When Beth asks why, Dawn responds, “I thought you were weak. You’ve proved me wrong.” Took you long enough, Dawn. Beth immediately goes to the doctor to ask him what to give to Carol. He guesses that Dawn gave her the key but eventually tells her what she needs to know. Beth ends up bribing a patient with strawberries. He creates a diversion so she can get to the drug locker. Once she has the meds, she heads to Carol’s room. Holding her hand, Beth whispers to let her know she’s there with her. All I can say is, I CANNOT WAIT FOR CAROL TO WAKE UP. With Beth’s badassery and Carol’s badassery, the hospital has NONE OF THE CHANCES. BRING IT!

Back with GREATM – GRT go off on a water run turn fishing excursion! Tara is already making apparently unwelcomed jokes about DC while they step past some happy walkers pinned by a downed telephone pole. They reach the river and Rosita shows them how to make a water filter, a skill she learned from Eugene exemplifying once again that even though he TOTALLY LIED, his Macguyver skills totally come in handy!

We have a moment with Rosita as she tells her backstory. She was with another group being attacked by walkers when Abraham found her. He stepped in and after noting “what she could do,” asked her to join them. “He was the first person to ask me since it all started.” Clearly, Abraham seeing her value and not seeing her as weak made an impression on Rosita. This is an interesting story for her to tell given what we just saw earlier between her and Abraham. She is skeptical of this too since Abraham has twice now publicly used his size and stature to belittle her both physically and verbally (with Maggie stepping in both times). Fingers crossed that she will continue to find strength in the group and herself. We don’t need to see an aggressive hothead white male dominating a Hispanic female, ok? Ever. Thanks. I appreciate the show not taking those scenes any further but it’s still far enough to make you cringe at the very least. What is his role now that Abraham is not Eugene’s bodyguard? Does he have what it takes to be a leader after these gross displays of power and control?

Maggie is still hanging out at the fire truck with comatose Eugene and forever-kneeling Abraham. She struggles dragging an awkward ladder down from the back of the truck to create a shade canopy for Eugene who’s lying in the sun. She angrily reprimands Abraham, “Get over yourself. You’re not the only one that lost something today. It’s never gonna get better than this.” A few minutes later, she offers him some water as a peace treaty. “Did you want me to shoot you?” she asks referring to the altercation with Rosita. “I thought I did. But I didn’t.” And as Abraham says the first words he’s said in hours (or weeks if you’re going by episodes), Eugene wakes up.

The hospital folks hear gunshots and head off to investigate. Two cops find Noah. As he surrenders, as planned, Rick & Co. jump out and try to take the cops captive. Unfortunately, in the middle of this, backup cops arrive and a fun little shootout ensues. Because there is no way this plan would have worked out smoothly in tv-land. During all of this human-made chaos, we are treated to scenes of disgustingly decayed radiation zombies splattered over the pavement. And as a bonus treat, Daryl while struggling with a big white bald cop, pulls a walker head off of its body with its eye sockets before beating the cop in the head with it. It was beautiful. Fuck the police, my friends.

Rick & Co. now have three cops at their disposal while they are holed up in a warehouse space making plans. One, Lamson, gives Rick intel that he takes at face value. Rick, seemingly appreciative of this, offers him some water before heading out with the other two cops to attempt to make tradesies with the hospital crew. Rick leaves Sasha behind and in charge of Lamson. The cop gives her some weird sob-story that she eats up because of her guilt with Bob. Earlier, she has a special moment with Tyreese in which he attempted to ease her pain and guilt a bit by offering to help her. Now, here with Lamson, she repeats Tyreese’s words to Lamson, “so let me help you.” GIRL. This isn’t PAY IT FORWARD. This is the APOCALYPSE. Sasha, seeing this as an opportunity to do what she failed to do with Bob, takes Lamson over to the window to find the zombie he says he painfully knows. As Sasha aims her gun out the window, Lamson takes a few steps back. And then, of course, runs into her from behind, knocking her out before running away. SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO TYREESE, Sasha.

Tonight is the mid-series finale. You know that mess is gonna be INTENSE. Will Carol wake up? Will they kill off Gabriel? We already know someone is dying so uh, yeah. THANKS CHRIS HARDWICK. Bets on who. I can’t wait and hopefully you can’t either. Until next time, babes.