When is Gotham Not at War? Never.

The trailer for Fox's Gotham is here, and I've got to tell you, readers: it looks really good!

The trailer opens, of course, on Gotham City (New York City with the contrast turned up and the brightness turned down) as our opening voice-over tells us, "I love this city.  And I see it going to hell."  I don't know how to tell you this, friend, but if you think Gotham is bad now, boy are you in for a shock in like, ten years.  Then it's just going to get weird.

The voice continues, "Sometimes I think this place is cursed.  But I won't let it fall apart without a fight."  Cut to the mayor giving a speech on the Wayne murders.  I wonder what that's about, says no one ever.  Dramatic music.  "Witness the origins," the trailer text tells us, "of the infamous city."

Gotham, scenic as ever

At the docks, a sniveling, bloody nosed man of indiscriminate age (somewhere between late teens and early twenties) tells our protagonist the same thing every Gotham rogue promises: "There's a war coming."

"One detective," the trailer continues.  We're in a bar.  Our protagonist is Jim Gordon, played by none other than the dashing Ben McKenzie.  I couldn't not watch this show if I tried, because where McKenzie goes I follow.  That's just how life works, friends.

A chorus of angels sing: BEEEEN MCKEEEENZIEEEE

Jim meets a woman (Fish Mooney, played by Jada Pinkett Smith) who tells him he has a little danger in his eye.  She asks what he plans to do with it.  On the streets, Jim's partner tells him that he knows Jim's killed people before.  "That was different," Jim says.  "That was war."

"This is war!" Jim's partner yells.  Cut to a dark alley where a well dressed family of three take an evening stroll.  

There is no foreseeable way that this could go horribly wrong in the next 5-20 seconds

"We're at war!" the partner insists, and Thomas Wayne takes one right in the chest.  Martha falls beside him.  "One crime that will change everything," the trailer tells us, which, duh trailer, we were kind of all expecting this moment.  A little boy screams as his parents lay dead next to him.  Next scene.  "What's your name?" Jim asks the little boy, huddled under a security blanket.  "My name's Bruce Wayne," the boy says, and I mean I guess he's saying it for the sake of saying it, but did anyone have any questions about who this kid was?  

What's my name? Dick Grayson. I'm just kidding it's Jason Todd.

Anyway, from there we go into our montage, which includes Bruce saying that he needs to learn to conquer fear, Jim running after people, some more gritty shots of the city where sunlight does not exist, and a climax of Bruce standing on a rooftop while a young Selina Kyle scopes out Wayne Manor.

A chorus of angels sing: SEEELINAAA KYLEEE

Also, let me just take a sidebar and say that I am 110% on board for Bruce being the Dipper to Selina's Wendy (whatup, Gravity Falls?)  Just picture angsty little Bruce Wayne lighting up in the most adorable infatuated tweenage way whenever Selina is on screen.  "I'm going to go rob a bank," Selina says (I think she's about four/five years older than Bruce, here?) "Ha ha, okay, go do that," Bruce says, grinning like an idiot.  Selina goes off screen.  "I love you," a wide eyed Bruce whispers, still staring after her.

Pictured here: Bruce Wayne, aged 8-12 or something it's not clear

Okay, back to the plot.  The trailer promises a lot of Gotham's rogues, from Penguin (the sniveling 20-something on the docks) to Riddler to Poison Ivy, and yes, Catwoman and Batman.  Before any of that, the trailer tells us, there was Gotham.

I was actually pretty skepitical about the show when it was announced, but the trailer makes it look like it's going to be a fun ride.  With my beloved Agents of SHIELD likely to be renewed this Friday, and Arrow season 3 in the bag, there will be a lot of awkward fangirl screaming coming from my general direction this fall.