Pop Culture Pasties: Cover Your Nipples the Nerdy Way

Geek girls who like to shake what'chyer mamas gave you need look NO FURTHER for the perfect decency devices guaranteed to blow nerd minds:

Look at that workmanship! 

Burlesque Pasties STAR TREK Sparkle Sequin Nipple Tassles Kit $45 

From the etsy store Montabahn Pasties, out of va-va-va-voom Victoria, British Colombia:

  • Montabahn nipple tassels and pasties are made with a long lasting, sturdy, 100% cotton backing and NEVER LEAVE RESIDUE BEHIND. 
  • All of the pasty and nipple tassels are individually handcrafted with extreme attention to detail, pride and love. They are all made to last a lifetime with the proper care and storage.
  • Fit to a perfect curve for the most flattering fit!


And this is just the beginning, geek girls. If you're not into going boldly where probably few women have gone before, Montabahn also very sensually addresses the Marvel vs. DC Comics divide in geek burlesque culture.

Marvel is very ably represented by tentpole heroes Captain America,

and the Sensational Spider-Man (with a helpful reference photo),

If mating-then-killing is more your speed, ladies, channel your inner Natasha Romanoff with these Black Widow pasties and add some ageless-Russian-ballerina-turned-superspy-turned-Avenger sexy danger to your dance.

And while it might not be the official Marvel starburst, I'd say a tall blonde could slick back the sides of her hair into an ersatz faux-hawk, tie a red sash around her hips, and bring some seriously hot Carol Danvers realness (in her current, fabulous, ungenderfied Captain Marvel guise) in these:


While the shop does offer black sequined vampire bat pasties that carry just a hint of Gotham City, there is the unquestionably classic Superman for DC readers:

Wouldn't you think Diana of Themiscyra would be all up in here? But there's nary a Wonder Woman-themed pasty in sight, nor spiky Hawkgirl versions, so Montabahn is clearly a Marvel reader.

There's also a delicious array of standard shapes, including anchors and starfish and charming seashells for a Little Mermaid vibe; hilarious bananas, ripe cherries, strips of bacon, and luscious cupcakes for foodies; and a menagerie of animals, including hissing black cats, rubber duckies, and, AWESOMELY, stegosauri. Never one to miss a cultural moment, however, the most fantastically timely pasty on offer at Montabahn is Tard, the Grumpy Cat. I have got to see these in action:

Last, never fear about what to do "down below." If a thong's not your thing or maybe you're just the daring dame that does the bottomless act, might I recommend a little Legion of Superheroes Lightning Lass action for your cooter-cat?

This glamourous merkin is comfortable and show stopping! $45 

Now if only the dudes could get in on the act, right? Is a banana hammock that says, "It's clobberin' time!" or a g-string with the Stark direwolf or sparkly TARDIS on it too much to ask? Maybe in 2013.

on December 28, 2012