Be My Player Two

It’s that time of the year again when the air is extra smelly with the gooey scent of coupling off.  Those people who are currently rife with singledom, though, must find our companionship in other things.  Take for instance, games!  But even at this time of year, we can’t help but want certain well known characters, brimming with homoeroticism, to finally bite it and get together.

Here are some couples who should just give in and swap saliva already:


Mega Man X & Zero

Why they work: They were literally made for eachother!  LITERALLY!  They were both dug up, relics of a golden age of robotics, and fight together against the Reploids, not knowing that their creators were also banging behind the scenes as well (we all know Dr. Light and Dr. Wily were only at odds to hide their secret love, why else were there so many games?!)

The Evidence: In Mega Man X-3, Mega Man starts wearing Zero’s clothes, and even is seen holding his saber.  Then, Mega Man X-5; Zero keeps blatantly trying to put himself inside of X.

Will they last?: They get married, get a surrogate, and that’s how we end up with Mega Man Zero for Game Boy Advance.


Princess Peach & Princess Daisy

Why they work: Those long nights locked in a tower can get real, real long.  Then you meet a princess who gets kidnapped as well, and then you start seeing each other at parties, and then wham-bam thank you Toad, you’re inviting her over for cake.

The Evidence: They form a tennis team together.  Then formula 150cc racing.  And then they’re seen on the pro-golf circuit taking home the Star Cup, hand in hand.

Will they last?: They continue their sports tour and retire in another castle together.  Mario goes back to plumbing, as Koopa turns out to be homophobic and quits kidnapping them.


Sonic & Knuckles

Why they work: While you may totally be thinking it’s Sonic & Tails, that would make you a total pedo.  Knuckles has always had that mysterious, dangerous edge that would even make Sonic slow down and take notice.  Plus, I've read enough fanfiction in my life to know Sonic would totally pick Knuckles, as he is about the height of an average human gay man.

The Evidence: You had to stick Knuckles into Sonic to play with them both. ‘Nuff said.

Will they last?: Sonic gets him a ring, but Knuckles only hears himself drowning as  their relationship turns out too Chatoix. 

on February 14, 2013