What If Stranger Things had been set in Sunnydale?

If you haven’t watched Stranger Things on Netflix yet, you should go do that. Then come back here and read this article.

As our lovely Adam Sass wrote, “Stranger Things is a visually innovative success with lots to devour for the Modern Queer Geek.” It’s got a great soundtrack and some great characters—and seems to reside on a Hellmouth. But, instead of a Hellmouth, it’s a gateway to the Upside Down.

But this could lead to season 2 having more demonic/monster activity. Which turns the fictional setting of Hawkins, Indiana into a Sunnydale-type town. You know, as in the setting of my fucking favorite show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

So, what would happen if Stranger Things had been set in the town of Sunnydale, during Buffy’s time there?

  • Chief Jim Hopper would’ve often sought out help from the Slayer and her Scobbies.
  • Eleven’s Papa, Dr. Brenner, and Rupert Giles would’ve been bitter enemies.
  • Barb would’ve been bullied by Cordelia Chase. And definitely would’ve found herself falling for another ginger geek, Willow Rosenberg.
  • Eleven and Buffy Summers would’ve fought during their first encounter and destroyed at least one set (probably the Magic Box or the library)—before becoming a badass demon fighting duo.
  • Dawn Summers and Eleven would’ve been around the same age and become best friends.

  • Xander Harris would’ve played D&D with all the younger kids, and made them promise not to tell anyone.
  • Joyce Beyers and Joyce Summers would’ve often gotten drinks and commiserated about all the whacky shit they’d both been through with their kids and how often they’d clashed with Principal Snyder. Oh, and about what dicks their ex-husbands are.
  • Dr. Brenner would've been part of The Initiative.
  • Xander would’ve crushed hard on Nancy.
  • Karen Wheeler would’ve worked at Sunnydale High and had an affair with Rupert Giles.
  • Cordelia would’ve dated Steve Harrington before he left her for Nancy.

  • Will Beyers, Mike Wheeler, Dustin Henderson, and Lucas Sinclair all would’ve thought Spike and Angel were both really cool.
  • Jonathan Byers would’ve been part of Amy Madison and Michael’s coven.
  • The Mayor would've tried recruiting Eleven alongside he and Faith. Eleven would've had none of their shit.
  • “Obviously Will is trapped in the Upside Down. As a Vengeance demon, I’ve traveled there often—not a very fun place, if you ask me. He’s probably dead. Not unlike Nancy's friend Barb,” – Anya, trying to help.
  • Will, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas would’ve all had crushes on, and fanboyed over, Buffy.
  • At graduation, Buffy would’ve lured The Mayor into the library while Willow, Nancy, and Jonathan Beyers did the same with the Demogorgon. Once the two monsters met…well, that’s when they’d blow up the library.
  • Steve Harrington would’ve died at graduation.
  • Barb would’ve definitely died at graduation—that is, only if Buffy had saved her from the Demogorgon on that fateful night when Nancy was busy being a BAD FRIEND.
  • Nancy would’ve moved to LA with Cordelia after graduation.

  • Willow and Oz would’ve broken up sooner, because Willow knew she was gay after Barb and would be struggling with that loss.
  • Eleven would’ve burned the Initiative to the ground immediately, sparing us all from Riley Finn and Adam.
  • Tara would’ve babysat all the younger kids while the Scoobies went on missions. They would’ve lovingly called her their second mom.
  • Nancy would’ve come back to Sunnydale often to visit her family and to fill the Scoobies and everyone in on her whacky LA antics with Wesley, Cordelia, and Angel—making Buffy really jealous.
  • Eleven would’ve loved when The Gentlemen came to town and stole everyone’s voices.
  • Steve Harrington’s shitty friends, Carol and Tommy, would’ve only survived graduation by becoming vampires—a fact they surprise Buffy with freshman year at UC Sunnydale, when they join forces with Harmony.
  • Eleven’s powers would’ve made Glory go insane the moment she tried to suck her brain. Thus turning Glory into a punching bag for Buffy.
  • Spike and the Beyers boys would've listened to punk music together in his crypt.
  • Joyce Summers would’ve still died though. And it still would’ve been just as sad.
  • Joyce Beyers would’ve invited Dawn and Buffy into her home after losing their mother—but The Summers’ house was bigger, so Buffy would then invite the Beyers’ into her home instead.

  • Joyce Beyers and Spike would’ve made flirty eyes at each other.
  • Johnathan Beyers would’ve been part of The Trio, forcing them to create an even nerdier name for themselves: “The Fearsome Four.”
  • “Get away from him, you bitch,” – Joyce Beyers, no doubt holding an axe, protecting her son from Evil Willow.
  • Joyce Beyers and Xander both would’ve stopped Evil Willow together.
  • Nancy would've been a Potential Slayer and moved back to Sunnydale when Giles came back to town.
  • Chief Jim Hopper and Faith would've hooked up.
  • Andrew would've had a crush on Johnathan Beyers.
  • Dawn and Will Beyers start dating once they’re both at Sunnydale High.
  • The First Evil would’ve mostly taken the form of Barb.
  • Johnathan Beyers would've saved Andrew and Anya from The Bringers and Anya would've then fallen for Jonathan and left Xander in the dust.

  • "Yeah, Buffy? What are we gonna do now?" – Dawn
    “I dunno, what do you think, El?” – Buffy
    Eleven looks up at Buffy and they both smile.
    THE END.

Twitter: @ianxcarlos
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on August 18, 2016

Buffy Summers in her prom dress holding two pugs.