GaymerX 2013 – Dispatches from Pandora’s Boxx

In the first of several posts, your intreprid Strong Female Character (amber.hard.femme) gives you a taste of the inaugural GaymerX gay gamers' convention in San Francisco.

Panel: Pandora’s Boxx

Held in the very yellow Imperial Ballroom (isn’t *pink* supposed to be the flattering-skin light? C'mon designers!), Benjamin Williams, A GaymerX co-founder, moderated (as best he could) Pandora Boxx, cosplaying as Arkham Asylum’s Harley Quinn.  The panel was more sedate than I was expecting for a Ru Paul’s Drag Race veteran, but then I was informed that Pandora had done her performance the night before. That explained it - or else she was just hung over (also possible).  Pandora’s Boxx was an entertaining, but sedate, Q&A with a friend-of-geek drag queen.

I don’t think Pandora would call herself a “gaymer,” but she did list of her favorite games (Dragon Age, Alice Madness Returns, Arkham Asylum, and Zelda, in case you’re curious) and greatly pleased the audience with a number of geek-centric jokes and impressions.

Some of the highlights:

[When asked “If you went on a date with Link [from the Legend of Zelda], where would you take him and what would you do?”]

I’d take him to a bar, get him drunk, and do him in the butt.  I’m sorry – Link is a bottom.

[In reference to a picture of Lulu from Final Fantasy X on Pandora’s Facebook page, “When will THAT cosplay happen?”]

When someone buys me that many belts. That’s a lot of fucking belts!

[Asking the audience how many have played Dragopolis, a mobile app game for iPhone and Android and receiving only a smattering of applause]

Go fuck yourselves. It’s only 99 cents! No, it’s free! *I’m* 99 cents! I’m excited – my rates went up!

[When confronted with the polarizing question: “DC or Marvel?” {MAD LOVE to the guy after my own heart who yelled, “Vertigo!”]

DC, because of Wonder Woman.

[When asked who should play Wonder Woman and responding to a suggestion of Lynda Carter:]

She looks great, but she’s more Wonder Meemaw now. Jennifer Aniston! [Cracks herself up] Can you imagine that shitshow?

But the highlight of the entire show, the shining light and the be-all-end-all of Pandora’s Boxx was when Pandora was asked who should have played Storm in the X-Men movies and was offered the suggestion of Grace Jones.  Pandora launched into a side-splitting, dead-on Grace-Jones-as-Storm impression that culminated (as it HAD TO) with her exclaiming, wide-mouthed, “EAT MY LIGHTNING!”

Pandora also had a Grace Jones encounter story. When she was performing in Rochester, her home turf, one of the queens with whom she shared the stage claimed that Grace Jones was her aunt.  Everyone thought this queen was full of shit until the day that Grace Jones came to one of their shows, “dressed like she’s still in the movie Live and Let Die” in full fur coat, “coked out of her mind.”  She dismissively shook Pandora’s hand and Pandora fell in love.

The audience definitely loved Pandora - she made the claustrophobic wait to get into this panel worth it. 

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