Welcome to Spring, geeks!
The end of winter was sort of a non-event in NYC. We had one of the warmest and least-snowy winters on record. Not enough romantic cuddling by the TV as a blizzard whoops outside, right? Here are ten wintery movies with high geek-appeal to help you get that fix for snow. Dim the lights and pretend the weather outside is frightful.
Guy Pearce stars as a Civil War veteran sent to the snowy American Northwest fighting against super-powered cannibals in this unique and seriously gory thriller. It’s a cool take on the myth of the wendigo, which Marvel and Hellboy readers might be familiar with.
Starring the adorable Zach Galligan, this 80s classic holds up well. You can see how it spurred the creation of the PG-13 rating. It’s gory and scary, while clearly being marketed to children. I still find myself yelling at the screen when Gizmo is threatened.
There was a 2011 remake of this antarctic thriller, but I think John Carpenter’s original 1982 film still comes out a few points ahead of the slick new one. Why? Two reasons:
1) The film’s tagline. “MAN IS THE WARMEST PLACE TO HIDE”
2) KURT RUSSEL’S AMAZING BEARD - bigger than all the beards of the 2011 films’ actors combined!
2009 - Kate “Underworld” Beckinsale stars in this antarctic adaptation of the popular comic book story. Serious man vs. nature realness plus action and intrigue. *
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK
The snowy first act is just so damn great. I guess it’s not technically “Winter” on the ice planet of Hoth, which, like all Star Wars planets has only one ecosystem and one kind of weather, but who’s not constantly looking for a reason to watch Empire again?
30 DAYS OF NIGHT
As if living above the arctic circle didn’t suck enough! Now there’s blood sucking as vampires invade a town that’s not going to see sunrise for a month! Also adapted from a comic book series.
SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD
An instant cult classic set in snowy Toronto, Scott Pilgrim is a funny, surreal, and postmodern love letter to teen romance movies, video games, and indie rock. Yet another comic book movie.
THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
Tilda Swinton steals the show as The White Witch is this sweeping fantasy. If the big-budget children's’ book adaptation isn’t for you, you can also check out the eccentric and low-budget 1988 BBC version which feels more like a campy summer stock play.
A Norwegian ski vacation. A cabin in the mountains. Good friends. Nazis. Zombies. Nazi zombies. Chainsaws. War crimes. Good times.
Three movies called JACK FROST, each one weirder than the one before.
1979 - “Ice Twink” Jack Frost, a winter sprite, falls in love with a woman (?) and becomes human to win her heart. I takes a serious blizzard and a groundhog intervention before Jack comes to realize that he should probably let her marry the handsome knight.
1998 - Michael Keaton dies and comes back to life as a snowman and gets to be “The World’s Coolest Dad.”
1996 - A freak accident in a blizzard causes a serial killer to have his genes “fused” with snow and he mutates into a murderous monster on a bloody rampage. Lots of b-movie slasher awesomeness here. If you dare, google the NSFW bathtub murder scene! Note: If Christmas slashers are your thing, this one also has a sequel.
"ONE COLD NIGHT, SCIENCE AND EVIL COLLIDE."